Understanding 5th in the Hurt Series
by JenniferWilson78
Summary: Willow's Point of View...Mini Series Called Hurt...What happens when Buffy gets a Wedding Invite for Cordy and Angel...This is a set of POV's on how it affects everyones life


**Understanding**

Jennifer W.

Spoiler you need to read the first 4 stories. This is Angsty and its about pain and every character is involved. If you don't like SUICIDE OR ATTEMPTS DONT READ  
>Rating M<br>Disclaimer I so don't own them! I wish i just own thy imagination  
>Authors Notes: Thank you so much for all the feedback To Nicky, Slipp1(your an Angel) Christine, Mirax, Heather, BuffyAngel112399, Cindy, Peygaan (My ever supporter) to Ann and Spirit( i hope i make your day) and to Laura and Laura and to always Vicky who helped make sense and hey helped write. I have had so much feedback THANK YOU!<p>

This is dedicated to everyone who is reading it and hates the C/A shit...and wants some pain in Angel's life

Twitter JennyWilson78

Facebook Jennifer Marie Wilson Gaddy

Willow

She walked into the house and slammed the door shut and flinched looking upstairs. 'God, I hope no one is home,' she thought. She sighed, and threw her bag on to the couch and sat down with a plop.

Things were just not going well. Today she had tried to enroll back in school but everything reminded her of Tara. She had run out of registration before she could even get started. Was it ever going to get better? Will there be a time when Tara's spirit doesn't haunt her heart and her dreams? She felt the tears fall down her face and quickly looked around again. She refused to cry in front of the others. She didn't want them to think she was weak when she was just gaining their trust back.

Forever was forever, so why couldn't she have forever?

They were going to be together forever, they had made the mental promise not five seconds before Tara…died.

She gasped and started to let the tears fall harder. She buried her face in her hands and let her emotions go.

It hurt.

She wanted to die along with Tara. She had tried to end the world and yet, coming so close to it and knowing she was going to die still wouldn't have given her the satisfaction she needed. She knew Tara wouldn't have wanted that but her grief had been too much.

It hurts.

She wiped her tears and lifted her head. 'Maybe some meditation would help,' she thought.

She was about to stand up when she noticed a small pink piece of paper on the floor. She frowned. It looked familiar and she picked it up. She sighed when she realized what it was. She had promised Cordelia she would try to attend, but she knew it was a lie. She had never been friends with Cordy and she was happy that she had found some happiness, but the ugly truth was, it was to Angel. It wasn't that she didn't want him to be happy. She knew about the curse being gone, but after losing Tara she had a new look on life.

She never understood why he didn't come back to Buffy when he found out she was alive. Then, a few months later, she found out that he was dating Cordelia. To her it didn't make sense, but I guess love is blind. She had even double-checked to make sure there was no magic over either one of them, but no, he had given his heart to Cordy when his soul was tied to Buffy. She knew Buffy was an empty shell and had been since he had left her all alone.

She knew her friend was miserable and missed him. She knew it was why she had gone to Spike. That little piece of comfort he brought her was something Angel should have done. He could have made her whole again.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She didn't want to get upset. Life will go on as it has been and Buffy will never know about their wedding.

She snapped her eyes open. Wait a minute, what the heck is this doing here anyway? She could have sworn she had hidden it from Buffy. She should have thrown it away but her friend had been walking in the door and she just stuck it under…hmmm the magazines on the table.

So why was it on the floor?

She stared down at the pink invitation and dread filled her heart. She saw watermarks on the paper. Please Goddess, tell me it's not tear marks.

"Buffy," She called out.

No answer. She slowly walked around the first floor of the house and saw no one except Buffy's favorite mug sitting on the counter. She looked up at the staircase and frowned. She was afraid to go up there. God, her mind was coming up with wild ideas. She took one step on the staircase and sighed and straightened her shoulders and held her head up and marched up the stairs like a soldier.

Buffy's door was closed.

She closed her eyes and reached for the door and turned the knob, however the door wouldn't open.

"What the..." She whispered. Her eyes went wide. It was a rule Buffy had come up with that no one was to lock the doors, so we could all take care of each other, but Buffy's door was locked.

She felt the tears well up in her eyes and with a little flick of the wrist, she heard the lock turn and the door opened up.

She walked inside and fell to her knees and stared. This wasn't happening. 'Buffy would never do this,' her mind screamed. She couldn't move, it was like she was frozen. Her friend was lying there with blood dripping down her arms and God there was so much blood.

Just like…Oh God. She threw up.

She crawled over to Buffy and picked her friend's head up and placed it in her lap.

"Buffy it hurts, I know, but don't leave me too," She cried out.

It hurt.

She was sobbing hard by this point and almost fainted when she heard a small moan. God, what a moron! She hadn't even bothered to check for a pulse. She reached up and grabbed the phone from Buffy's nightstand and noticed she had ten messages on her machine. She ignored them and dialed 911 and told the operator that her friend was hurt.

She hung up and stared at her friend.

"I know it hurts Buffy, but I love you," She whispered into Buffy's ear.

"I understand, I really do," she said and kissed her cheek.

She noticed something shiny beside her friend and picked it up. Wasn't this…Anya's engagement ring? She was pretty sure it was, Anya had showed it over and over, more times than she can remember. So she had been here, she knew what had happened.

"Oh, Buffy," She croaked.

She stroked her friend's hair and held on to the ring with the other hand and closed her eyes. She slowly began to feel the world around here just like Coven had taught her. She shuttered when she felt Buffy's pain.

It hurt.

She called upon the Mother Goddess and stopped her hand from soothing Buffy's hair. She laid both hands down and with the blood still dripping from her friend, she drew an outline of a woman and laid the ring on top and whispered a prayer and went back to meditating. She wouldn't use black magic to bring her friend back, she would use the Earth and if they wanted their child to stay then Buffy would live.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the slamming of the door open downstairs, and grimaced when she heard something break.

"Up here!" She screamed but came out hollow.

She watched as two men and a woman came rushing into the room and they never looked at Buffy personally, as they worked to stabilize her.

"Did she do this?" The woman asked.

She looked down and spied the knife, that precious damn knife and stared at the woman and nodded. They took off with her and she sat down on Buffy's bed and picked up the knife.

The blinking light caught her attention and she hit the play button while staring at the knife, twisting it in the light. She wasn't expecting his voice. Her heart hardened. He did this to her. How can you love someone and marry someone else? How could you do that to your soul mate? She listened to each one of his messages, each getting more frantic by the second.

She smiled.

He hurt.

**The End**


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